- Him: it has to be perfect
- Me: what does?
- Him: they'll kill me if I screw up this dress
- Me: no they won't it's just a dress
- Him: yes they will I'm going to waste their money then Mickey Mouse is going to have me dropped on a deserted island far away where I'll die alone
- Me: it can't be that big a deal, are you making a parade character's dress or something?
- Him: they gave me so much money, I'm going to fuck it up. She'll look hideous
- Me: it'll be okay if you make a mistake, who's dress are you making?
- Him: *whispers* Elsa
- Me: isn't Elsa already in the park with a complete costume?
- Him: yes
- Me: then how are you doing her dress if it's done already?
- Him: her park dress is done. But she has her official, internationally televised and watched by millions coronation into the Disney royal family as a queen coming up and all the other members of the royal family will be there even the queens and all the princes and they've already booked the castle and they gave me one million dollars to design the perfect dress for Elsa as my first assignment.
- Me: oh...shit
- Him: *starts crying quietly*
today my best friend asked me “why cinderella’s shoe fell off if it fit her perfectly”
In the original story the prince ordered one of his servants to put liquid tar on the staircase to stop her from running away. The shoe got stuck on the tar.
That is a liiiiittle bit creepy
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE BROTHERS GRIMM FAIRYTALES HONEY
High School Fads, 1944
Ok so now I’m on the look out for lesbians with hair bows in the back
I just like how the bow on the left is a ‘signal and a chllange’ it’s like yeah, Betty’s been going steady with Tommy for a few weeks now, but let’s see if Ronny can step up his game before Betty becomes a right bow kind of girl
You see this bitch? This is the fucking Audi A9 Concept vehicle.
It is the most beastly motherfucker to light up my Tumblr page.
The thing has engines in it’s wheels.
IN THE MOTHERFUCKING WHEELS.
See that futuristic design? Makes Acura designs look so 2010.
Oh? Where’s the windshield? It’s fully integrated into the roof using nano technology.
That means the bitch repairs itself.
Oh and that badass window and windshields?
It can change from solid like that to clear when you drive.
White isn’t a very sporty color? NO WORRIES. This beast can change it’s motherfucking color to whatever you fucking want.
THIS BITCH SHOULD GET IN MY GARAGE.
why don’t they hire tumblr bloggers to do the commercials i will never know
I hate driving but hot damn I would live in that car
I get the feeling that if Sam and Dean were to meet a dementor and it tried to feed on one of their souls, it would end up throwing it back up and be all “no” and then disappear.
because it had to be done
Finally a good addition to my post
Ylvis, educating people about the female reproductive system.
these guys will be the death of me.[x]
i died at the pH value
I just learnt more about the vagina in like 10 seconds than I have ever learnt in my entire life
Debating whether or not I should share this with my anatomy and physiology professor.
WATCH THE VIDEO. IT GETS BETTER
attempting to hide your desperate need for breath after a short flight of stairs
why were dinosaurs so big
because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures